Pop Culture Mania (...the week Cannes begins...)

it's 4:33 am. (where o'where has my sleep schedule gone?) but! I just found all this pop culture yumminess (well, at least it all *arouses* my taste buds!!)

So...here is what we have to look forward to.

Pedro Almodovar + Penelope Cruz = Volver

"The third day of this 59th edition of the Festival de Cannes is marked by return in the Official Selection - seven years after All About My Mother, Prize for Best Director, and two years after Bad Education -, of Pedro Almodóvar, come to present in competition Volver. In this film, the Spanish director looks back to his roots and draws the portrait of three generations of women confronted by madness, lies, superstition and even death. There is Raimunda (Penélope Cruz), married to a man out of work, and her fourteen-year-old daughter; Sole (Lola Dueñas), her sister who manages a hairdressing salon at home; and their mother (Carmen Maura) who died a few years earlier in a fire. The latter reappears one day and seems to have scores to settle with her daughters..."

For Spanish speakers native to this continent...no me olvidé de usted!

Babel directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu (Amores Perros) (w/ Brad Pitt (sans Jolie) & Cate Blanchett)

Babel: n. 1. In the Bible, a famous tower built by a united humanity to reach toward heaven, causing God in his anger to make each person involved speak different languages, halting the project and scattering a confused and disconnected people across the planet.

The pretentious film of the summer. (Chambre 666 directed by Wim Wenders)

Location: Cannes, Room 666 at the Hotel Martinez.
Godard, Fassbinder, Spielberg, Antonioni and other famous directors answer the question: "Is cinema a language about to get lost, an art about to die?"

i already mentioned Marie Antoinette (see: 4.30.2006: You don't have to speak French.)

Richard Linklater!! (Complete with trailer & website) (um, is that Avril Lavigne I see in the credits...along with Greg Kinnear, ETHAN HAWKE (er, i love you but how dare you cheat beautiful uma!), wilmer valderrama...

And the rest of the cannes lineup for feature films.

The *BEST* pop culture news, CW PICKS UP VERONICA MARS!!!

So WB's Gilmore Girls will be paired with UPN's Veronica Mars on Tuesdays, and UPN's top series, America's Next Top Model, will lead into WB's One Tree Hill on Wednesday. UPN's wrestling will remain on Fridays.

but, i have some major beef. i was telling someone i know that upn has a lot of black shows on & i was wondering if CW was going to pick them all up (while i simultaneously said that NO show black, white, orange or purple could get in the way of Veronica Mars). But, now that she (er, it...the show) is safe...

The article about CW:

UPN's Monday block of urban comedies will shift to Sundays, led by Everybody Hates Chris, the sitcom from Chris Rock inspired by his Brooklyn childhood.

Left in the dust are WB's Everwood, Pepper Dennis, Modern Men, Bedford Diaries, What I Like About You, Twins, Living with Fran and Related, and UPN's Eve, One on One, Half and Half, Cuts and Love, Inc. (UPN had seven comedies with largely black casts at the start of this season; CW will now have only four.)

i know that 24 has (or had?) a black president (i don't watch & kirk is only on season 3 & that show is crazy so i can only guess about President Palmer & his resignation...) but seriously folks. I think we need more black primetime not less.

"By the way, do you mind if I call you Fred?"

The full quote:
"and you looked so cozy. Like my brother Fred. We used to sleep four in a bed, and he was the only one that ever let me hug him on a cold night. By the way, do you mind if I call you Fred?" Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany's 18 (First Vintage Int'l ed. 1986).*

And so Freddi was born or chosen...the bunny that was not too fat (like "lump" as we lovingly named the fattie sister, who Freddi slept on top of in the "tank")...the one that was not too hyper (like "spaz")...Freddi was one that was just right.

I went to Freddi's "tank" at Pet Supplies Plus in Ann Arbor (the one on Ann Arbor-Saline Rd.) every day until I could purchase her. We weren't allowed to take her home until she was six weeks old. I watched her play with her sisters (she would always make them tickle her...and two years later, she hasn't changed much...she loves to be tickled!!).

I bought Freddi to keep me company and to keep me in good spirits. My first summer out of law school I realized that, despite my best efforts, I had changed into an unhappy person. I was out of touch with the world and me and everything that i had ever wanted. i was restless and uncomfortable in the first city in which i had felt at home. my job was ok. my friends were ok. but something wasn't right. until i saw her face. and seeing her just made me happy.

so why did i give her to doug tonight? was it because i am moving out of pittsburgh and it will make it easier? superficially, it may look that way. upon a closer look you'll realize that, nope, that's not really it. it's just what i tell people to make it easier.

(she's been boarded in philadelphia before - the vet & staff love her!! b/c she "has the most personality of any bunny they've ever seen." (the vet even took his kids to see Freddi on the weekend and the Vet's kids loved her!) - i could've boarded her just while i moved out to make it easier) (and although there is lots of "Freddi mess"...let's get everything straight here. i'm not the neatest person in the room so who am i to judge a cute, little, poop machine?)

there are a few reasons i gave her away to doug. i have to sort them out here because otherwise i'll keep on crying. (although, i will say...i guess this experience is good practice if i ever do get married...and then divorced...with kids...).

1. doug is her dad. he loves her just as much as me and i got to spend a wonderful year with her in pittsburgh. it's doug's turn to have freddi. i hope that some day i'll be able to take her back.

2. i want closure with doug. i don't want a bunny looming over our heads. i don't want to be the bad person for taking Freddi away from doug. i also didn't like our conversations about Freddi. I felt like i was holding her over his head just by having her with me (although technically he left her in pittsburgh...as a nice gesture...and it's not like i stole her away from him). Whenever we would talk, he would ask me how she was doing or get mad at me for having custody of the bunster. I brought her down to Jefferson but that's the only time he saw her for an entire year. in order to not talk anymore (or not at least have anything to talk about), I thought i could be stronger and just give her to doug. i figured i could control myself and not want to ask how she's doing. but...if this night is any indication...i can't stop thinking about her!! i want to know how she is adapting. Is she sniffing a lot? Is she making friends with the cockaroaches in his dorm? don't all your friends *LOVE* her and her cuteness? has she bunny hopped? doesn't she still have a wonderful smell on the top of her head even if the rest of her body smells like poop (or hay)?

not only did i want to give freddi to doug, i gave him all of his stuff (or at least everything i could find within a 48-hour time period but my apartment is sneaky & stuff could be hidden anywhere...). i want a clean slate (apartment?). he has a fresh new life in philadelphia (eh hem, my hometown. which, when we were planning to spend our life together, is the city that he said he rather not go to med school in...even when my mom had a cancer scare...but funnily enough it's also the only city whose med schools (yes, that's a plural!) accepted him...). It worked out well for him because he is excelling in the city of brotherly love...he's super popular, super dedicated to his school work, getting the best grades possible, and he has a fantastic girlfriend who adores him.

i live in pittsburgh surrounded by his stuff and our stuff (um, memories, rabbit)...and i need it to be gone for right now. law school has ended. after the bar exam, i can go back to finding me. (which thanks to many different wonderful people, i've already started to find...).

3. The hardest one for me to come to terms with. If closure with doug is impossible, i don't want Freddi to be the reason it's impossible. I want to try closure but i realize that i spent three and a half years with this person. he was my best friend (i gave him the nickname "my better half" because he's much nicer & more likeable than me). i was so sad when out of all people, he didn't call me to tell me "guess what? congratulations, you're finished!"...especially when he knew how hard law school (and its environment) was for me. i am friends with all of my exes, why not the one who meant the most to me?

i know i hurt him. i know he hurt me. thinking back on my relationship with doug it's sad or painful and, most importantly, beautiful.

and i guess this one is hardest for me to come to terms with because of all of this hurt and pain we caused one another. And, (more importantly), all of this goodness that has come from the wonderful, new people in my life.

despite those two (huge) factors, it didn't stop me from sacrificing my pride & joy...my baby bundle, Freddi, to see if maybe doug & i could have a platonic relationship that didn't depend on our child. even if not now, even if it happens in the future.

until then, I know she is in good hands.


(* er, withouth my bluebook that citation is probably totally off...i'm not sure how to quote to the First Vintage Int'l ed....plus, the original copyright was 1950...then it was renewed last in 1984 by Capote & in 1986 by some other dude).

bar exam #1 (b/c i'm sure there will be more)

though i may regret this later, i decided to sign up for the 3 day PMBR and take this week off since it will be a stressful summer. (the PMBR rep sold me on the fact that the 3 day class teaches "time management" for the multistate...and the 6 day introduces you to the bar exam material before others (read: me) start studying).

good luck to all the people who started the 6 day PMBR!!

Discrimination

Today in mediation training we had to write our biggest fears about mediation on an anonymous post-it note. I had two. The first thing I wrote was that I was scared that I would be too directive during mediation (i.e. that i would want to solve people's problems). The Pittsburgh Mediation Center believes in "transformative mediation." (some mediators don't believe in different philosophies and just think that we should trust instinct...) and if you mediate for the PMC you have to agree to do transformative mediation. This means a lot of active listening, reflection and summarization. anyway, i said that instead of lettiing it be "the parties party" - i would want to hear both sides and tell them what i am hearing and what is "the easiest solution" - not necessarily their solution.

This was a pretty common fear and we spent a lot of time going over how to make sure we are transformative because it's our natural tendency to be directive.

Secondly, I wrote that I was scared of bringing my own prejudices into the mediation (actually i was tired & wrote "discriminating tendencies"). I think that a lot of people at mediation training agreed with me (some people were put off at first...but we're mediators so we're used to being honest about our own feelings & hippie stuff like that).


My second fear got a lot of good feedback. An experienced mediator/our trainer told us a personal story with the moral being that sometimes even she has to check herself during a mediation. She has heard some awful stories and she has sometimes agreed with one person after just reading the intake form or just listening to their overviews of the problem or thought the other was "bad" (i.e. "big corporate" defendant v. small helpless plaintiff; david & goliath; etc.). she reminded us that it's natural to bring our own baggage into the mediation...but she also reminded us that we really just have to listen to each story b/c we just don't know the full story (think: if big corporation gave small plaintiff 10 chances but small plaintiff kept looking at teen pornography AT WORK ...er...AT an elementary school? (see?! bad small plaintiff!!)). usually, the parties (disputants) say the problem is about one thing but sometime into the mediation the mediators realize it's really about something different (maybe the parties realize this for the first time during mediation too). (i.e. they think its a fence dispute but its really about racism).

we were talking about "tools" to fight this urge (b/c like directiveness, the mediators agreed that we all have natural biases). since i brought this up (albeit on an anonymous post-it note at first), i raised my hand and also brought up the fact that the reason i fear doing this is b/c i know that i have a tendency of discriminating against "people like me" and I have to check that. By "people like me" i mean rich, white, heterosexual (or at least more-dominant sexual (?)), jewish, etc. people laughed (i'm by far the youngest in the room so people are like, "awww, how cute" even if i say something not cute...). but it's true. i said that some "tools" i usually use are: 1) to try to put myself in their position (cliche) or 2) (the better one:) i think to myself "what if this person talking to me wasn't [white, jewish, rich, etc.] would i trust them more?

anyway, it's funny because i've been wanting to blog about this full circle thing. Kinda like my laptop cord scandal (see: "Full Circle" on 4.24) the go-betweens have been a sentimental band for my law school career...(see: blogs down below) and Grant McLennan, "a co-founder of Australia's beloved cult band the Go-Betweens" died on May 6th...but I didn't find out until May 8th...right before I turned in my last law school final ever.

maybe today's mediation class shows that i'm growing up (cf. "next go-betweens post" below). at least, now (post-law school), i'm honest about my discrimination, which doesn't take "a traditional form" (query #1: has subliminal racism become the traditional form? query #2: am i anti-semetic (see: all self-hating Jews)?...(ps/ don't you love the word "query"). and recognition and admittance is the first (and second?) step.


Review of Matt E's CD w/ the song "Clouds".

"Clouds" -- the Go Betweens: I like this song, very pop/cute which is what I like...almost folk...and I'm still a fan of the Go Betweens after I heard that piece by the Harvard Med student on NPR. He didn't know if he made the right decision to go to Med school and he sees a record store owner get locked out of his apartment while sitting at a cafe in Spain. He is jealous of their life. He remembers his college days when he used to love the Go Betweens (indie band). His girlfriend tells him that he made the correct decision to go to medical school and he would maybe like that lifestyle for a little but then realize his potential to do more. He seems hesistant to believe her. Then back in the states he has a day that makes him remember why he went to Medical school...and he listens to the Go Betweens on his headphones on the way home. He likes how he can bring some Go Betweens to medical school. ...yes, made me think of myself...

Next Go-Betweens post.

I wanted to write my blog about the Go-Betweens NPR thing again. It came into my mind today as I was walking to the bus from federal tax with my mp3 player and huge headphones. It was the first time i broke out my mp3 player this year. And the big headphones...I love big headphones...I mean the bigger the better, right girls? ( <-- that's my 'no, she didn't!' face, fyi). But no, really, how are you supposed to appreciate music on those dinky little thangs that just look snazzy? You need to go all out w/ the big headphones. Plus, I look pretty damn good with or without the big headphones (<- remember what that face means?).

Back to my headphones and my rockin' mp3 player. Did I mention that my mp3 player was written up in Q magazine (only the most pretentious music magazine out there, in my humble opinion) as the greatest value. And! And! What does your music player say about you? While all those little Avril Lavigne-ites tout their ipod minis looking ever so cheeky, I'll be akin to the ever-so-famous (and dorky, remember the comics everyone) Thom Yorke. "Dog's Bollocks!" (gotta love brittish slang -- http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml)

Yes, again, back to my MP3 player...well, the music I was listening to was quite smashing and compassionate me, I was worried about all the people who didn't get to appreciate this music. Namely, those that ride the 71C with me.

Let me preface by stating that I live in Shadyside, one of the posh neighborhoods of Pittsburgh (of course this is all relative). And, the girls that stand at my bus stop...they do that thing...you know...*the little wave*.

Do you know what i'm talking about with *the little wave*? I think I actually hate *the little wave*...and I don't hate much. *The little wave* goes like this:

Step one: get hand in wave formation;

Step two: push fingers tightly together (including thumb);

Step three: wave BUT move hand rapidly back and forth only .25 centimeters.

usually, a fake smile or a long drawn out "hi" accompanies *the little wave*. If you're really special you might also get *the hug that doesn't really touch you*. Also, beware of this double whammy, you might spot a girl who is utilizing one hand to do *the little wave*, while utilizing the other hand to talk on the cell phone. [Sidenote: this girl is probably not interested in either the cellphone conversation or the person she is waving to].

I felt bad for those people (like my generalizations? who says liberals don't pass judgment?) because they'll never know the joy of 1) waving with fingers apart; 2) touching while hugging; 3) wearing big headphones; or 4) listening to the Go-Betweens or music of like genre.

idleness

after a few days of doing nothing (reading Wicked, Frankenstein...seeing Art School Confidential...listening to my favorite professor that i never actually had...), i decided to drive home for mothers day to surprise my mom. SURPRISE!! (3 am).

My little brother is awake. We ate olives together. Both opened the refridgerator and said "Sweet" simultaneously (our mom went to Carlinos today...Carlinos = food heaven). We bonded over the fact that he wants to be a fashion designer & hates accounting. He thinks its awesome that I'm now a J.D. (or soon to be)...but he must understand where i'm coming from. then, he showed me his girlfriend's pictures. She's a cheerleader for the Miami Dolphins (or so he says).

anyway, my little sister is awesome. she fell asleep in the green room, which used to be hers until i moved away 7 years ago. I think she made the move final during my last year of college actually. Now, she has the pink room that I grew up in. But, she slept in the green room just for me to have my "normal" bed.

i have so much i want to blog about. Alan Turing. Greg Niemayar (my virtual professor). Lessig. The New Yorker. The the some-what fallacy of Birth Order. But i'm tired & I need to go to sleep so i can be happy for mother's day!!!

To my disappointment, however, studies suggest that the effects of birth order apply far more narrowly than I thought. Within a family, birth order matters (how could it not?). Older siblings throw their weight around and younger siblings either cower or figure out a way to defy them. But outside the home, the research shows that these patterns fall away and birth order has little effect on personality and self-expression.

so...until tomorrow...or maybe monday...(after mediation training)...