Recent Pondering: Junket Whore = Big Firm Attorney

Reading for people who like: Entourage, Thank You for Smoking, reading about pop culture, US Weekly.

Back in the room, I took the previously planned bath -- tip: If you're lying in a tub that is filling up with water that drops from the ceiling, be careful to position yourself so that the waterfall isn't aimed directly at any sensitive part of your body -- then sat around in one of the bathrobes for a while. I wanted to enjoy the amenities as much as I could. It occurred to me that the junket whores get this kind of treatment ALL THE TIME. Whereas I am delighted to have such a swanky room in a swell hotel, junket whores are accustomed to it. They might even feel entitled to it by now. Maybe they complain to the studio when their bathtub DOESN'T have a spigot in the ceiling. I went to sleep thinking I could really get used to this kind of treatment. Maybe being a permanent junket whore wouldn't be so bad....

The publicists told us we had 20 minutes and left. The seasoned junket interviewers began immediately, with no small talk. I guess when you only have 20 minutes, you learn to fire off the questions right away.

It soon became apparent that as interesting as Peña might be as an actor, and though he seemed to be a nice enough fellow, Will Jimeno was far more interesting. Jimeno had actually been trapped under the rubble of the World Trade Center for 13 hours; Peña had merely pretended to do it for a movie. The only problem was that if you asked Jimeno a question, he would give you a much, much longer answer than it required. So you'd have time to ask Peña a greater variety of questions, but Jimeno was the more engaging interviewee. I imagine that's the kind of tough dilemma junket whores must deal with regularly.

You also get a sense of what an insane waste of money it is. Ginger and the other publicists aren't to blame, of course; they're gracious and pleasant and wonderful. It's the whole system, where dropping $50 million or more on promotion and advertising alone is considered normal. But if the goal of the studio is for the film to make a profit, then it's absurd to spend so much promotional money on things that, in the end, won't actually increase ticket sales very much. TV commercials, online ads, posters, soundtracks, sure. All that makes sense. Those things directly influence consumers. The puffy interview stories that will appear as the result of this junket might bring in a few more audience members, but surely not enough to justify the extravagance.

I mean, honestly. The water came out of the CEILING.