Beautiful Dreamer - Roy Orbison

Sometimes I wish that I could go back to the 1950s. Watch black and white movies in my car. Wear skirts that puff out and enhance my breasts.

Anyway, after trying to act like Veronica Mars to try to see who was commenting on my blog - I figured out that its no one I know. (well, except for one of the comments - the one that links to www.stopblogging.com funny enough). So, I've been blog hacked. But I guess I could learn a lesson from all this.

I went to the gallery crawl tonight in the "cultural district" of pittsburgh - well, only two galleries. It's funny how blue collar pittsburgh is - one of the galleries was dedicated only to blue collar workers and the beauty they represent. The other, well, it was very artistic. I like watching people there - especially because these nights are so important to the artists. They are on stage and I like watching them perform what they love to do (show off their work). I'm both compassionate and cynical when I observe them.

I also went to this amazing little hole of a restaurant where our waitress was decked out in Steelers gear (as were all the other waiters and waitresses). Our waitress had about a pound of makeup on and she drew her own eyebrows in a nice shade of brown - which didn't quite match her bleach blond hair. She also had terrets, I think.

Plus, I saw Brokeback Mountain. Actually, most importantly, I hung out with Cass! I haven't seen that girl in way too long. She is the bestest. I love how she is like a mom (for example, she made sure I had napkins to dry my eyes before going into the movie!!).

And...i finished the rough draft of my brief. I can't wait to get yelled at on Monday!!

some bullet points

- James Frey's future book sales - up or down?

- I came up with an idea for my second story (yay! Now, I just have to write it!!).

- I have a brief due tomorrow.

- Kiren came & went & I had tons of fun.

- my bunster loves chocolate.

re: comment "Truth"

You're right. I do sound stupid (gosh, what was I thinking?). I am a nerd who has no life outside of my computer, I will be the first to admit it (I love my mac!).

And, its very true that I grew up with a housekeeper. Not a maid. Dorris is part of my family. And, it's something I'm not proud about but I am willing to recognize it as part of who I am and how I grew up. I used to want to reject my hometown and my hometown's lifestyle. Now it's just like any other thing that makes me who I am. And, in some respects, I am a downright spoiled brat.

But in other ways, I am respectful and friendly and not hiding behind anonymous curtains of "truth". I am not trying to be witty. Well, sometimes I try. And, fuck an education. I think schooling is overrated. But that is just my humble opinion that you don't have to listen to...so don't waste your time to read my blog, or go onto your computer to be nerdy and write me witty (read: mean) comments.

Does it make you feel better to make me feel worse? Unfortunately, today is one of those days when what you say doesn't really affect me. Try me again tomorrow.

Kiren?

where are you??!?!?!

(see: blogs, Rusted Jesus, blogspot (on right!))

animal crossing

So, I've started to play this game on Nintendo DS called Animal Crossing. And, I have no idea why I like this game. There is no end goal, there are no monsters to meet, no princesses to save, there is no interaction in an online world. It's just me and nintendo ds. You pick a character, which ends up being some type of human with a big head. My character is a chick named Freddi (gee, I wonder why?!). You live in a house. You talk to your neighbors such as the frog dressed in camoflage (aptly named Camofrog) who is mean and says "ten-hut" after every sentence. You pick cherries to sell to the store (in exchange for the currency called "bells"). At the store, you can buy a fishing rod or a net to catch fish or bugs. You can then sell the fish or bugs to the store or donate them to the museum if the museum doesn't already have them. You also can buy furniture and decorate your house. Boring, right? NO!!!! It's addicting.

But anyway, other than product placement (i wasn't paid promise!), i have another point. I've taken thousands of tests (the enneagram, the Keirsey Temperment sorter, OKCupid.com...etc...) to try to figure out my personality. I am good with people but I am not good with myself - figuring myself out or defining myself. I usually can talk to someone and get some type of sixth sense about "their purpose in life" or what they'd be good at (in a general sense, not in a specific sense). Me? I couldn't even begin to tell you what I would be interested in doing for the rest of my life.

Yet, I have this theory that there are some things about our personality that are innate - that we reflect on a daily basis - that we don't even realize. These are characteristics we just can't change. Scratch that. I think we can change these traits but it takes an effort. Like these traits are hardwired in. Obvious examples that come to mind: if you are a morning or evening person (you can always *train* yourself to be the other), if exercise is important to you, if you work hard.

So, recently, someone told me that I think like an economist. I was at the outlet mall and I deciding whether to buy something by playing this little game with myself. It's a game I always play. Here are the rules: I usually don't look at the price tag until I've tried something on (this may be a habit from growing up as a rich kid or it may just mean that if i like something enough I don't care what the price is up to a certain extent). After I've tried on whatever article of clothing, I decide what I think the store will charge. Based off of that number, I decide what I'd be willing to pay. (I need the first step or else I would just be willing to pay what *I* think they should charge...and I'd probably have no clothes). When I have that number in mind, I look at the price tag.

Sometimes its easier to see it in number):
If I am in Urban Outfitters, I know that the long sleeve shirt I have on will probably be somewhere between $30-50. I decide that I'm willing to pay $35. I look at the price tag, its $40. (I did that on purpose b/c the $5 increase is the hardest choice). Do I love it enough to go above my original #? It's only $5 but then again, it's only worth $35 to me, not $40. It's supply and demand and I am looking to maximize my utility (or however economists speak).

But, you know what? That's not the first time that I've heard that I think like an economist. So this must be something about my personality because I don't mean to - it just happens naturally.

And where does this all tie into Animal Crossing? As an "economist", I would say that the above example just shows that I am a rational human being, making rational choices. Just because I think it out doesn't really give insight into my personality. (again, the self-confusion...). But, I found another example that goes with my theory as I was playing Animal Crossing.

I'm a messy person. Whoever has lived with me knows this. (again, i blame this on rich kid syndrome & having a housekeeper my whole life). I think that things get put away by themselves and I have the least bit of common courtesy when it comes to mess. (OTOH, i'd like to say that i am 90% a clean person...and i think there is a difference between messy & dirty...but there is that 10% about me that is kinda gross). In animal crossing, my favorite pasttime is to fish. (mostly b/c of the funny sayings in the game - like "I caught a Red Snapper! Oh SNAP!!" or "I caught a squid, no I SQUIDn't"). Sometimes you get exotic fish like Koi or a popeyed goldfish or a Carp (surprisingly hard to catch) but other times you get a tin can ("keep our waters clean, you CAN't litter") or a dirty boot or old tire. And, when I want to gather fish (you only have a certain amount of pocket space to hold stuff), I will just leave the old boots on the side of the river. I won't go and put them in the recycle (which is picked up every Monday and Thursday). I'm transferring my mess into the game.

But, as stated, you can change. Unlike real life, I *am* making Freddi make an effort to put the Boots in the recycle bin. Although, it is kinda fun to leave them because boots attract flies and I like to catch bugs (which are more difficult than catching fish).

I could go on forever about how I think the way in which we build our computer-nerd universes (read: animal crossing, the Sims) gives insight into our personality...but I'll stop here. I'm sure I've bored you enough. if you want me to dissect your personality (kinda like a modern-day tarot card reading), lemme know how you play these video games. if you want to give me insight into my own personality, i'd be more than happy to listen!

Factory Girl

since we are on the topic of pittsburgh...

Q: does it really matter if you don't think that sienna miller looks like edie sedgwick?
A: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/384950p-326717c.html

(i have to learn how to hyperlink on a Mac...any advice would be helpful)

driving around

although i don't really "get" pittsburgh football (i'm not from around here...and contrary to what Yinz all think, i think Yinz are fairweather fans), but I really liked when I drove around today. Only a few people were outside (its cold!) but I would say about 98% of people were wearing Steelers gear, or carrying gatorade, or throwing a football. It was like being back on a Big Ten campus...except in the middle of a (less safe, less pretty, less hip) city.


(i may get shot for actually posting this. thankfully no one knows I started writing my blog again!!)