St. Patrick's Day

I'm obviously not Irish (despite my dad's ex-red hair). Nor am I Catholic. I'm jewish (although, it's true, I once converted to Christianity). So, I guess technically St. Patrick's Day shouldn't really mean anything to me anyway. And it doesn't. But, for some reason, I toss into the same category as St. Valentine's Day and New Years Eve - it always comes with high expectations that'll likely be let down.

This time, though, it's okay to be single & you don't have to kiss the cutest person in the room (or your significant other, whichever strikes your fancy or is encouraged by your blood-alcohol level) as the ball drops...but you do have to go out and celebrate at the best freakin' party of the year (which is funny, b/c if St. Patty's Day had any self-esteem of its own, it would wait until like November or at least October to be the best party of the "year". March? Come now. The only party it competes with in March is those "Oscar's parties," held at banquets or something. I wouldn't know but I'm sure they're completely rockin' with invite-only, all-socialite guest list. (Wait, do i hear another competitor? law school prom? going once? going twice?).

Yet, we all know what proms mean for non-virgins and what Oscar's night means for Jake Gyllenhaal. One big let down.

Maybe i'm just jealous because I've never had that blow-my-mind-away St. Patty's Day bash where I've been wasted and screaming kiss-me-i'm-(at-least-wishing-I'm)-Irish. (so, if you know of any...or if you wanna tell me your stories so that I can live vicariously through you...i'm open).

in reality, i'm just more of a low-key sipping-beer-(er, whiskey and diet coke)-type girl. plus, i live in a state that still has Quaker liquor laws.

Stalking: America's Favorite Past-time. Subtitle: A post about google searching (not) your name

Just when you think your blog is private. Kidding. I know it's not. That's why I'm, er, candid about what I write.

So, we've all google searched (web, images, groups, blogsearch) our name. We've all google searched our ex-boyfriend's name or our current boyfriend's name or our crush. (Stop, you know you have). This is why back over the summer I perma-linked to Doug's gf's blog (fine, and!, her pictures. (oh wait, we're in the 21st century...google, myspace, friendster, facebook, etc.)

And, I think it's pretty natural to wanna know about people who you care or used to care about. Or, people who people *used* to care about.

So, last night, during my suicide frenzy (which btw, i took a personal day today and I am feeling a little better...but not by much...) I google searched everyone I had ever known. I remember I was friends with a girl in grade school Mutio Ndeto ("Tio"). Tried her. Tried her older brother Kelli Ndeto only because I remembered his name. (now maybe these people will come up on a google search). Kirk was like, uhh, why does my dad's name come up when you start typing his name in the google search bar... computer memory, gotta love it!

but then, i was forwarded this.

****
An excerpt:

"An employee at the Roane County Courthouse went out three times with a convict on Maine's Most Wanted list.

Robert Fain had active warrants against him in four states, with prosecutors in Roane County planning to charge him with aggravated assault after they say he tried to run over two Kingston Police officers last Friday.
"He was the nicest guy you could possibly want to meet," Pam Smith thought of Fain after they met on her birthday, February 24. "Now, I feel like a fool."

Smith said Fain went to her office in Juvenile Court and met her co-workers the Friday afternoon he was captured. Pam said Fain was going to pick her up in the courthouse parking lot later that evening for dinner. Ten minutes before that was supposed to happen, a friend told her about looking people up on the internet."
****

And, it made all my irrational stalker behavior seem normal. NOTE: seem. But, then, I was like, am I looking to see if Kirk's dad is on the most wanted list? Nope. Did I search out his ex-girlfriend's resume b/c I wanted to see if she was a felon? No. I was just curious. But, it got me nowhere.

So, yes, this post is to a certain someone who probably reads my blog b/c I am a certain someone else's ex. But please please please - He LOVES you. trust that. then again, i AM a fabulous writer with great procrastination fodder. So, you can keep reading if you want. I love fans.

Fake Smiles

I always hated fake smiling and niceties. I give in to them mostly, though, because that's what you're supposed to do. Right now, I can't. And, I also probably won't blog for awhile, if again.

I saw Doug on Saturday night after I took the MPRE (which I failed the first time!! Go me!! I'm smart!! er, unethical!!...At least this time, I studied! Also, this time, I took it at this catholic college in my hometown. I've only known one person who went there, an ex-heroin addict artist. When I checked out the location the day before the test, the building I was in was filled with art galleries. That was pretty cool. Plus, as a specialty, there was a beautiful painting in the front of the room...And, for the record, nuns are the freakiest people around).

So, after feeling like I failed the ethics exam for the second time in a row (which may actually be a blessing because I didn't think I failed the first time) and then after talking to Douglas....I've eaten...one bagel...and four pretzels. I have cried for seven hours straight. Three people have threatened to call the cops and have taken knives away from me (i needed to cut some fruit and I only have Cutco knives with Double-D ® Recessed Edges..."These products have a unique edge configuration: a three-way cutting edge with a concave grind." That means, they are bad for er, fruit cutting). And, all this should not be on my blog.

(The cause? I'll give you some clues. You can do the process of elimination. I don't really care if i have to take the ethics exam a third time...some people say that Winter does this to you...but guess what? its been like 65 degrees for the past three days...yet, for some reason Doug has this affect on me).

I only post this because if I see you and I am weird/rude/put my headphones right on, I'm sorry. It's hard enough for me to swallow (literally). And, if I do get through this (welcome welcome crisis 2006!!), we can talk about it then. for now, bye.