A finisher

I was going to enter a screenwriting competition today. Actually, I was going to enter a kind-of-screenwriting competition today. It is hosted by Pitt in Hollywood, a group of Pitt students and people in the area, collaborating under the guidance of Carl Kurlander, who co-wrote St. Elmo's Fire, to bring some of the showbiz to Pittsburgh.

I was a little hesistant to enter because I haven't quite flushed out my idea - but the guidelines only said I only needed to turn in one or two scenes and then the premise. No problem.

Until I rented Y tu Mama Tambien last night.

I know that I'm a few years overdue to watch this movie. I heard the movie was wonderful but I always wanted to see it with someone (i feel odd watching movies about good friends by myself) and every someone I know had already seen it. (Even I-hate-indie-flicks Doug, who watched it for a spanish class). Yet, luckily, Doug likes Blockbuster way better than West Coast video because its less pretentious so we often quibble (q-word) over where to rent videos. Since we're egalitarian, pretty much, the loser in the "Who chooses the video store" battle usually gets the consolation prize of some bargaining power as to what goes on the DVD player when we get home. Plus, dudes love soft porn.

After I watched Y tu Mama, I could not even bring myself to turn in what crap I had whatever rough draft stage it may be in. I know, I know. These are high standards. Y tu Mama Tambien is among the best in the movie business. Still, I realized that right now my screenplay was more about preaching my views than sharing poetry with the world. I'm not trying to write like Cuaron brothers but people like to go to the movies for a breath of fresh air and not to inhale my propaganda. I'm a harsh critic.

I know that I've talked to some of my readers about my exquisite potential to start projects with a splash and then completely give up. Thus, my decision to fuck the Kind-of-Screenwriting competition might seem to be a cry of "That idea was so last month" or even, "I'm Scared of rejection". And while its true that I think screenwriting is a dream for me that at this time of my life I do not want to deflate with rejection because my current ego is too fragile, I also think that my perspective right now is too negative to make anything enjoyable for a wider audience.

The first step is necessary.

Today, my project that I've started over and over again and that I vow to finally finish is to find more charm in connotations, find more ecstasy in essence, adore abstracts and leave the negativity to the wind.

Thus, because I am a finisher with a newfound proclivity for dwelling on goodness, I hearby promise on this 21st day of February 2005 that I will share my dramatic morsels with the world by March 1st. And, I expect you to hold me to it. No further excuses.