I'm with Stupid

I'll make a tee-shirt for people to wear whenever they are hanging out with me b/c today I realized I truly am stupid. And its not the type of realization that comes everyday. Sure, some days I think I make stupid mistakes or I say stupid things but today I realized that its as if I've been living in a hole my whole life. I think another expression is that I've been living in a bubble or under a rock. You take your pick.

Why am I so stupid? Its not b/c I don't know about world politics (Yes, that was a double negative...I'm not so smart at grammar either!). Its not b/c I can't finish crossword puzzles in the New York Times on Sundays (or any day for that matter). I am stupid b/c until today I had no idea what Bocce is. Not only that...I also had never knew that there was a "famous expression" about Jewish Lightning.

For all those who are like me & don't know what Bocce is, I will not consider you stupid. Instead, I will send you to the link of the United States Bocce Federation. To paraphrase what the link says (read: quote directly from the "What is Bocce" section of the site),

Bocce is a competitive game of skill. It sharpens the reflexes and judgement � and stimulates good fellowship among players. It is played by young and old alike. It is very popular throughout the United States among Italian Americans who compose its greatest advocates and best players.

The purpose of the game is to roll the bocce, a 4� inch ball weighing about three pounds, as close as possible to the pallino, a 1� inch ball which is rolled down the alley first. The bocce coming closest to the pallino scores. Twelve points constitute a game.

The game requires: good judgement of distance, the ability to size up a situation immediately, a good eye to spot contours and rough spots in the alley, and the proper psychological frame of mind.

Bocce fans claim the game helps improve their bowling, golf and shuffleboard because it has many features of these games in it. There is no age limit for the Bocce players. Many elderly citizens play the game for relaxation and exercise.

For many Italian Americans, Bocce is a nostalgic glimpse of the "old Country." It brings to their minds a reminder of the proud Italian heritage of which they are a part. It's a brief glance at "The Glory that was Rome."

Gosh! That explains a lot more than "Bocce is like curling," which is one explanation that I got today (um, what the hell is curling?). I also was told that Bocce is played by mafia-types in South Philly. And I was told that Bocce is played often at picnics...followed by the question "Do you know what picnics are?" (um, not a very funny joke; way to kick a newly born bocce fan when she's down!).

Again...if that wasn't bad enough...I just found out there is an age-old expression that when a business is failing, the solution is "Jewish Lightning" or burning down the building for insurance money. I feel like I've been missing out my whole life not having this expression amongst my extensive vocabulary! I'm not exactly sure when but I feel like I could've used this before.

Anyway, as the homily goes...the world teaches you something new each day, you just have to look for it. I feel so much more complete after I learned so much today.