a reflection
It's funny - when I read other people's blogs I can get a true sense of who they are and what makes them tick. Where each sentence becomes a DNA molecule. And the more posts they post and the more posts I read, I achieve a fuller understanding of who they are.
Yet, when I read my own writing, I can't see anything but words on a page. My entries don't paint a picture of my life, my soul. My diction is not clue to who is making those word choices.
Then, I wonder why I write posts. Aren't most diaries kept to achieve a deeper understanding of self? You may reply that this blog is not a "Dear Self". I have an audience. To that I will reply, true, my blog is to keep me in touch with my friends but isn't friendship a mechanism through which we gain a deeper understanding of both friend and self? There are plenty of homilies intertwining friendship and personal growth or metaphors about friendship and plants.
i apologize that I am so incessant on finding soul-searching answers.
Yet, when I read my own writing, I can't see anything but words on a page. My entries don't paint a picture of my life, my soul. My diction is not clue to who is making those word choices.
Then, I wonder why I write posts. Aren't most diaries kept to achieve a deeper understanding of self? You may reply that this blog is not a "Dear Self". I have an audience. To that I will reply, true, my blog is to keep me in touch with my friends but isn't friendship a mechanism through which we gain a deeper understanding of both friend and self? There are plenty of homilies intertwining friendship and personal growth or metaphors about friendship and plants.
i apologize that I am so incessant on finding soul-searching answers.
posted by mjs at
3:41 PM
2 Comments:
Funny you don't see your personality in your blog. Because I didn't see mine in my blog until you mentioned it today. But when I thought about it, I understood what you were talking about. It is a tad odd that I listed my summer activities that way.
So I'm going to try this "let loose" stuff.
I'm nervous...
By
Anonymous, at 4:10 PM
It makes sense that you cannot see yourself in your blog. Even if it was a true diary, you wouldn't be able to see yourself in your own words. They're no longer your words once they leave your head and are put on the page. It's not the end result of blogs or diaries that allow us to find meaning in our own lives, it's not the actual words on the page. It's the process that illuminates our souls. It's the thought process, it's that invisible something that chooses the topic and words we might use to describe the picture show in our mind. Here's a story that might help you understand
A famous zen parable about letting go tells of a dying master, Mu-nan, who seeks to bequeath a cherished, handwritten scripture book to his disciple Shoju.
At first, Shoju refused the gift. "If the book is such an important thing," he said, "you had better keep it." But the master insisted and put it in Shoju's hand.
Shoju accepted it and laid it on the flaming coals of the brazier.
"What are you doing!" the master shouted.
"What are you saying?" came the reply.
(from Sudo, Philip Toshio. Zen Guitar. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1997.)
somehow, by separating ourselves from our words, we are able to hold on to the thing that is permanent, not the diary or blog, but the source of those words. That is the way Melissa-san.
The sound of one hand clapping. Awaken.
(Kiren)
By
Anonymous, at 11:23 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home