an example of how the bar exam makes one crazy.

i think i may be going nuts thanks to this lil' exam. i'm super sensitive.

for example, the legal writing TAs for one certain legal writing professor are all celebrating by going out to lunch/ice cream/etc. for (a rather delayed) end of the year bash. Everything was planned and agreed to over e-mail (...at least 20 different e-mails in my gmail conversation). The end result? We don't know where we're going or what we're doing. We're simply meeting on a corner outside of the library tomorrow at 1 pm. Here was my response.

'll try to be there at 1 pm too. but, as you all know by now, i'm
always late.

(my dad always says that being late is the best way to say "fuck you"
to someone. And Dane Cook says that it's a power move (even if
subconscious). However, old habits die hard.)

if i'm not there by the time you decide where to go, don't wait for
me. i wouldn't want to pull a power move or curse or anything. it's
not out of disrespect for you, i promise! I totally understand that
you all have *much* better things to do than wait for me.

however, if i am late, since there is no definite place to be other
than that corner, can someone text me as to where ya'll venture off
to? (or call...but as known I'm a 24 year old that's scared of the
phone & voicemail).

muchas gracias!!

okay, yeah, i may be crazy and ramble. but that's what i do. (you know that if you read my blog). i thought my professor knew that too but here is his response.

are these the rantings of some psycho?

that makes me sad & embarrassed...so i wrote back

if psycho = someone studying for the bar exam. yes.

i know that every minute (or ten minutes) is precious time for bar exam studying. I also know that i have a very bad habit of being 15-20 minutes late. It's not like I could've showed up on that corner at 1:50 pm. they would've been long gone. maybe i could've censored my e-mail (like deleted the second paragraph but i've e-mailed plenty with this professor & didn't think i needed to censor myself).

i was trying to be nice. i didn't want them to wait for me if i was late & they decided to go somewhere else. 'cause, you know, standing on a corner deciding where to go & what to do can only take so long. I figured they may have moved or decided by the time I got there. (not to mention the fact that at least three of the four other people *live* in the neighborhood where we're meeting yet I live in a diff neighborhood...and I'm not studying there beforehand so I'd have to drive & find parking...but that's back to my lil' problem with being on time for social events).

I just wanted them to go ahead & celebrate without me. i'd meet up with them. i didn't want to be called psycho on an e-mail group of 5 people. am i psycho? psycho is a loaded term.

i realized that i'm not a reasonable person right now. and for that very reason, i don't know how to compute this. was that funny? was that mean? was i out of line? help! someone!!