The Fingerprinting
Here is an e-mail that my friend sent to me:
"Good luck this weekend with those finger prints...I'll be thinking of you as they grab your fingers and make you finger print for like 15 minutes straight."
And here is my reply:
"seriously! you're not even joking when you say 15 minutes.
the fingerprinter (is that an official position?) was so nice but i was in such a bad mood when i arrived (...explanation to come...). i really didn't feel like giving her each and every finger 5 times!! (fine, only twice) or making small chat or putting on special lotion or dipping my fingers onto a computerized ink-pad.
plus, well, actually, now that I think about it, the complete story of my fingerprint escapade is for in-person telling only (complete with ethnic biases and gender theory and the like...) and, thus, inappropriate for e-mail.
Fine, b/c I can't resist. I'll type the story. Plus, there is already build up and it's not that funny. It was just "an experience."
for starters, the fingerprinting business was in this non-descript office building in the middle of backwoods NJ (when i arrived my sister's navigation system said: "unknown territory" or something to that effect and the road went blank). The neighborhood is very,...er...politically correct (?), Hispanic.
Once I was lost, due to the navigation system's failure and my detrimental reliance on it's accuracy (stupid me), there was
definitely a road in the city that became more like a "line", where after I crossed it, I was like, ...uh...i probably shouldn't be here. Or should i? then i saw a cop. which made me feel un-safe & safe all at the same time. And then, don't even start with the feelings of guilt that I felt after thinking all of this - i went through the whole psychological experience of - if you are in a neighborhood that looks run-down/maybe unsafe as a female with no karate skills (such as myself), do you 1) play into the stereotypes b/c sometimes they are true and you have to be "safe" or 2) disregard the stereotypes and go on your merry way, which can be both illuminating and naive.
Needless to say, i was anxious and thankful when i found the the non-descript office building. (anxious mostly b/c i didn't want to make this 1 hr drive from my house in Philly again - which is really a 5.5 hr drive from pittsburgh). The non-descript office building also housed the "bilingual spanish speakers community center," which took up the whole first floor (i think). The finger printing office (if it could even be called that) was upstairs. The "office" was an open room, smaller than a high school classroom, with the fingerprinting machinery (along with the necessary lotions and electronic pads et cetera), one woman fingerprinter, and a "waiting area" consisting of three chairs. But, of course (?), there was a line of people getting fingerprinted (which made me wanna ask all of the other fingerprintees why they were there - who knew that fingerprinting was such a lucrative business. i guess it is in NJ). And, yes, they were all speaking in Spanish.
When it was my turn to be fingerprinted, my small chatter with the official female fingerprinter began with her cheering me on in her Spanish accent and telling me that I have to do well - for "us" - b/c most of the people she fingerprints for the NJ bar are male.
now, i start thinking critical race (ethnic) theory thoughts (ironically, after I was just a complete stupidhead. er, or whatever
derogatory term you wish to call me...). My thoughts mainly follow this line of thinking: "most women she would fingerprint would be from this area (bluecollar Latina...), gosh! no wonder she sees mainly men - re: the dissent in the Michigan law school case." Then, I begin to feel guilty b/c she has embraced me as "us" but really I am not her b/c I am white. Plus, she's nice and I'm just annoyed that she keeps pulling on each of my fingers. To make matters worse, my pinky is too small & it takes awhile for the computer to read the print.
then, she asks if I am working nights while studying for the bar. she's kind and smiling like a good-natured mother. Her kids probably can't be older than three or four though - she's pretty young. she's so impressed with my achievement. and sincere. and i just want to throw up. that question was the verbal equivalent of punching me in the stomach. especially because she wasn't sarcastic.
"No, I'm not," I reply briefly, leaving out that small part about how I didn't even take out student bar loans b/c I'm *crossing my fingers* that my parents will pay for my privileged-ass to take (not one but two) bar review courses this summer. right now i'm just living in credit card debt like a lazy bum.
"All finished. All of that Hard work. You're glad it's over, huh?" She smiles. I think she's talking about the fingerprinting but it may be law school. I can't decide. "Really, I mean it, do well. We need more girl lawyers."
As if there wasn't enough pressure to pass the bar, I picture myself on the morning of July 27th. The New Jersey essays have been passed out and we're just waiting for the second hand to get to the twelve so the proctor can shout "begin." Before I turn my papers over, I give the female fingerprinter a shout-out in my mind. "This is for you, mi amiga."
the end.
whew - betcha didn't expect that reply. despite what it sounds like, the experience was very uplifting and resonated with me. i realized how very privileged I was - yes, i was a spoiled brat and more (will the racist please stand up?) - but also how I was privileged in a good way. You too - we are law school graduates! so congrats to us!
thanks for thinking of me & the goodluck & such.
"Good luck this weekend with those finger prints...I'll be thinking of you as they grab your fingers and make you finger print for like 15 minutes straight."
And here is my reply:
"seriously! you're not even joking when you say 15 minutes.
the fingerprinter (is that an official position?) was so nice but i was in such a bad mood when i arrived (...explanation to come...). i really didn't feel like giving her each and every finger 5 times!! (fine, only twice) or making small chat or putting on special lotion or dipping my fingers onto a computerized ink-pad.
plus, well, actually, now that I think about it, the complete story of my fingerprint escapade is for in-person telling only (complete with ethnic biases and gender theory and the like...) and, thus, inappropriate for e-mail.
Fine, b/c I can't resist. I'll type the story. Plus, there is already build up and it's not that funny. It was just "an experience."
for starters, the fingerprinting business was in this non-descript office building in the middle of backwoods NJ (when i arrived my sister's navigation system said: "unknown territory" or something to that effect and the road went blank). The neighborhood is very,...er...politically correct (?), Hispanic.
Once I was lost, due to the navigation system's failure and my detrimental reliance on it's accuracy (stupid me), there was
definitely a road in the city that became more like a "line", where after I crossed it, I was like, ...uh...i probably shouldn't be here. Or should i? then i saw a cop. which made me feel un-safe & safe all at the same time. And then, don't even start with the feelings of guilt that I felt after thinking all of this - i went through the whole psychological experience of - if you are in a neighborhood that looks run-down/maybe unsafe as a female with no karate skills (such as myself), do you 1) play into the stereotypes b/c sometimes they are true and you have to be "safe" or 2) disregard the stereotypes and go on your merry way, which can be both illuminating and naive.
Needless to say, i was anxious and thankful when i found the the non-descript office building. (anxious mostly b/c i didn't want to make this 1 hr drive from my house in Philly again - which is really a 5.5 hr drive from pittsburgh). The non-descript office building also housed the "bilingual spanish speakers community center," which took up the whole first floor (i think). The finger printing office (if it could even be called that) was upstairs. The "office" was an open room, smaller than a high school classroom, with the fingerprinting machinery (along with the necessary lotions and electronic pads et cetera), one woman fingerprinter, and a "waiting area" consisting of three chairs. But, of course (?), there was a line of people getting fingerprinted (which made me wanna ask all of the other fingerprintees why they were there - who knew that fingerprinting was such a lucrative business. i guess it is in NJ). And, yes, they were all speaking in Spanish.
When it was my turn to be fingerprinted, my small chatter with the official female fingerprinter began with her cheering me on in her Spanish accent and telling me that I have to do well - for "us" - b/c most of the people she fingerprints for the NJ bar are male.
now, i start thinking critical race (ethnic) theory thoughts (ironically, after I was just a complete stupidhead. er, or whatever
derogatory term you wish to call me...). My thoughts mainly follow this line of thinking: "most women she would fingerprint would be from this area (bluecollar Latina...), gosh! no wonder she sees mainly men - re: the dissent in the Michigan law school case." Then, I begin to feel guilty b/c she has embraced me as "us" but really I am not her b/c I am white. Plus, she's nice and I'm just annoyed that she keeps pulling on each of my fingers. To make matters worse, my pinky is too small & it takes awhile for the computer to read the print.
then, she asks if I am working nights while studying for the bar. she's kind and smiling like a good-natured mother. Her kids probably can't be older than three or four though - she's pretty young. she's so impressed with my achievement. and sincere. and i just want to throw up. that question was the verbal equivalent of punching me in the stomach. especially because she wasn't sarcastic.
"No, I'm not," I reply briefly, leaving out that small part about how I didn't even take out student bar loans b/c I'm *crossing my fingers* that my parents will pay for my privileged-ass to take (not one but two) bar review courses this summer. right now i'm just living in credit card debt like a lazy bum.
"All finished. All of that Hard work. You're glad it's over, huh?" She smiles. I think she's talking about the fingerprinting but it may be law school. I can't decide. "Really, I mean it, do well. We need more girl lawyers."
As if there wasn't enough pressure to pass the bar, I picture myself on the morning of July 27th. The New Jersey essays have been passed out and we're just waiting for the second hand to get to the twelve so the proctor can shout "begin." Before I turn my papers over, I give the female fingerprinter a shout-out in my mind. "This is for you, mi amiga."
the end.
whew - betcha didn't expect that reply. despite what it sounds like, the experience was very uplifting and resonated with me. i realized how very privileged I was - yes, i was a spoiled brat and more (will the racist please stand up?) - but also how I was privileged in a good way. You too - we are law school graduates! so congrats to us!
thanks for thinking of me & the goodluck & such.
posted by mjs at
1:37 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home